Wednesday, January 28, 2009

How to lose weight

While I was walking into the coffee shop this morning I was thinking how strange things can happen to you in certain circumstances.

People can show unusual feats of strength if a family member is trapped under a car, people get extremely competitive and border on being violent once they take to a sporting field, your best mate that sticks by your side no matter what will desert you at the opportunity to hook up with a hot chick.

We see bizzare things happen to normal individuals in circumstances like these as well as others.

It occured to me this morning because during my walk in I noticed something that I hadn't noticed for quite a few months. As I walked in I could hear a kind of jingle.

A kind of jingle jangle.

Or was it more jangle jongle. Or Jongle Jobble.

All of a sudden I realised I couldn't hear it, I could feel it. And it wasn't a jingle, jangle, jongle, jangle, jobble, it was a wobble.

Like the bed springs on a honeymooners bed I could not just feel my belly bouncing and shaking, but I could see it through my shirt!

It then occured to me that I hadn't seen someone under the car.

I had long been away from any kind of sporting field, unless you call the pub a sporting field.

I wasn't trying to hook up with a hot chick.............. I realised I had already hooked up!

And that is what happens, you get lazy, you get fat, and you start to wobble.

Executive Summary for The G Space: If you want to lose weight, break up with your partner and get yourself into the shape that would cause best friends to turn on each other just to hook up with you.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Learn the difference between LOSE and LOOSE, imbecile.

Birdman said...

Is it kind of like my keys are loose in my bag, I hope I don't lose them.

I'm at a loss, please help me.

Loser.