Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Many meanings of ass

18th March is a rubbish day..... and as long as I consider myself to be part Irish it will continue to be for me as well as a very large portion of the Western population.

The first thought that occurred to me as I woke this morning was "I feel like ass".

Actually, my first thought was "How did I sleep all night with the laptop still sitting on my chest where I obviously fell asleep catching up on twitter updates".

My second thought was, "I feel like ass".

That statement alone has many connotations. Do I feel like ass the same way I felt like having another guinness last night, or, like a bald head with re-growth that feels like sand paper was my whole body made up from two cheeks, wispy hair and a brown eye that smelled bad.

None of those.

The ass, or bum as it is more humourously referred to as, is generally a place of despair.... or at least when you think about your own bum. It is this place of despair that I was facing this morning and hence the 2nd thought of the day.

Ass doesn't just stop there either. You can be rat-arsed, get your ass kicked, kick some ass of your own, know an ass-hole, be out at the pub metaphorically chasing ass or be at a gay bar and literally chasing ass, you could be an ass-wipe, you could use an ass-wipe (i hope you all do, it's called toilet paper people!)

Whatever ass you may be, I hope it's not the 18th of March kind of ass.

Now where is my pint of guinness?

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